I am BACK

Jadi setelah 5 bulan kembali ke Indonesia dan akhirnya memiliki fasilitas yang cukup untuk menulis lagi, saya akan menciba kembali menulis, awalnya coba coba di kompasiana tapi seperti nya bagaimana pun kembali lagi sepertinya saya lebih suka nulis disini. Tp emang ttp kembali ke konsep blog ini adalah random. Jadi memang bisa nulis apa aja pake bahasa apa aja. 😆 kembali ke absurd kan kisah kisah aneh. Haha. Tapi mungkin ada juga yang akan berguna. Jadi stay tuned yahh.

Pengalaman Karantina Mandiri 14 Hari di Cina

Kebetulan kemaren pas lagi marak nya kasus di Beijing, saya baru aja pulang dari Beijing sehingga sekolah mengharuskan saya untuk karantina mandiri selama 14 hari. 

Jadi disini mau positive atau negative semuanya harus di cek nucleic acid test sebanyak 3x, yaitu hari pertama, ke-12, dan ke-13. Tapi kalo misalkan negative, yang di test hari ke-12 dan ke-13 harus pergi sendiri ke RS buat ambil sample.

Pengalaman pertama swab test itu SAKIT banget, pas pertama kali di ambil itu nangis parah itu sakit banget, katanya uji nya itu sekitar 200-300 yuan, jadi ya udh kemaren itu udh jaga-jaga bawa 500 yuan karena emang sempet denger harganya segitu juga.

Tapi ternyata ga tau yah kenapa, tapi hari itu saya mau bayar tp katanya ga usah, pulang aja. Ya udh jadi mikirnya nanti kalo salah pasti di tlp suruh bayar. Dan sudah rela kalo emang mesti bayar, namanya juga itu adalah tanggung jawab dari perbuatan kita. Tapi malah katanya semuanya gratis. Tapi jadi harus test di hari ke-12 sama ke-13, padahal kalo suruh bayar udh mau blg, ya udh bayar yang pertama aja gpp. Karena itu sakit banget! Ga mau lagi klo ga terpaksa. Beneran dehhh. Itu rasanya pas sampling tuh beneran ga enak banget.

Ya udh selama bbrp hari masih ada orang yang nanya, tapi akhirnya saya memutuskan makan aja ato emang titip klo misalkan ada teman yg emang kebetulan mau anterin aja. Dan datang lah hari ke-12 dan ke-13, jadi katanya di pindah sampling nya jadi sore. Pas dateng di bilang ngga kok, sekarang cuma ada pagi doang. Di tlp laoshinya juga ga bisa jadi akhirnya balik dulu ke dorm minta no laoshi trus tlp gimana jadinya, akhirnya disuruhlah balik lagi ke RS. Kali ini ga se sakit yang pertama, tapi tetep membuat infeksi, karena pas bersin berdarah T.T. Yah intinya test swab ini bisa menyebabkan luka pada mulut dan hidung. Hari ini di suruh bayar, tapi karena ga punya uang cash. Jadi lah aku bgg, tlp lah laoshi lagi dan ternyata itu biaya administrasi 15 yuan. Baik lah, klo cuma segitu ada. Tapi akhirnya saya bilang klo misalkan mesti bayar apa-apa itu tolong di kasih tau dulu biar bisa bawa uang nya.

Akhirnya karena ga ada kabar dan berita, datang lah hari ke-13 nih, udh nih di tanya bisa jawab krn udh biasa kan. Trus gw nanya bayar, ngga. Di suruh lgsg ikut ya udh, di suruh balik lagi juga ambil kertas. Di bilang gratis ato ngga. Saya jawab gratis, kok bisa gratis? Nah loh pertanyaan baru lagi. Gw juga ga tau kenapa gratis tp 2x ini gratis. Akhirnya tlp laoshi lagi. Tapi kali ini cuma di suruh bayar 9 yuan. Apa sih ini tiap kali dateng beda, pertanyaan nambah. Klo yg udh pernah di tanya dan apa aja yang di isi udh lancar, tapi tiap kali dateng ini berubah harganya, berubah caranya, jadi kesel juga.

Akhirnya pulang lah, tp si org sampling nya blg, bsok klo dteng lg jgn lupa ambil tube nya di lt 2 yah. Dan gw makin bingung kenapa gw harus balik lagi. 4x? Ngga ngga. Ga bisa gw kalo 4x. Itu 3x aja udh menderita rasanya di ambil sample dari hidung sama mulut T.T Kebetulan hari ini juga rame, dan ternyata wajar kok klo di sampling dan kesakitan.

Itu beneran sih, menyiksa banget sampling nya tambah lagi di kamar doang ga boleh lebih dari pintu kamar. Itu bener-bener membosankan tapi mungkin karena udh biasa jadi biasa aja sih. Hahaha.

Tapi inti nya, jaga lah diri spy ga di swab Test. Itu sakit banget!!! 

Pilihan Hidup

Saya bisa menjadi saya yang sekarang adalah bentuk dari pilihan hidup yang saya pilih di masa lalu. Setiap pilihan memiliki kekurangan dan kelebihan. Bahkan menurut saya ada satu titik bahwa saya salah memilih tapi semua itu pasti ada hikmah nya. Mungkin kalo itu tdk terjadi saya tidak akan menjadi saya yang sekarang.

Kadang tetep sih, 

Kalo lagi merasa sndiri, kesepian, kaya ga punya temen. Tapi sebenernya gw tau wlpn tak selalu terlihat mereka ttp ada orang" yang emang selalu ada buat gw. Bener" seharusnya gw sadar yang ga nampak itu lebih berharga daripada yang nampak.

Quality over quantity!

Keputusan itu bukan hal yang mudah. Tapi ketika akhirnya memutuskan untuk Ya atau Tidak itu akan memberikan hasil yang mungkin tidak sesuai dengan ekspektasi kita. 

Kisah Mantan

Mungkin orang ini hanya satu satu nya orang yang bisa gw bilang sbg mantan. Walaupun setaon HTS smpe masuk ke SMA yang sama dan akhirnya kandas. Hahaha. Tp gw msh undang dia ke sweet 17 gw loh. Hebat kan gw. Emang geblek sihh. Tapi kita masih jd teman kok. Tp hebatnya kita ga pernah satu kelas dong di SMA. Hahaha. Bahkan gw bantuin dia sama temen gw krn dia suka. 

Itu pengalaman paling menarik sih. Dan gw super banyak berubah dalam satu tahun itu sih. Sayang nya awal tahun ini dia sudah menikah. Pdhl wktu itu gw ada bbrp kali mimpi dong ttg dia. Tapi emang Fita yg dia kenal sudah bukan Fita yg dulu lagi. 

Waktu itu wlpn sering tlp sama sms yah (dulu jaman nya masih SMS), tapi klo ketemu tuh malu-malu bahkan wlpn semua orang udh tau yahh. Kita ttp ga pernah bersama. Ttp dengan kehidupan masing-masing. Sampe gw di labrak dong sama ade kelas yang suka sama dia. Pusing gw.

Itu super pengalaman seru sih, tp emang yang membuat menarik krn tau sama sama suka cuma yah ga mau pnya hubungan aja. Haha. Namanya anak pintar dan rajin di sekolah yah. Tetap sekolah adalah no satu. Gw ga tau kenapa bisa gitu dari saat muda. Hahaha. 

Ini mengenang lagi, memang yah manusia itu penuh dengan penyesalan. Tp klo mgkn jd sama dia pun gw ga akan kaya sekarang. Hidup gw mungkin ga akan se random ini. Hahaha

Kemanakah uang itu pergi?

Abis ngobrol sama temen,

Mgkn krn emang kita sama" ga di Indo sekarang, gw di Cina, dia di Thailand.

Tapi emang perbicaraan kita cukup scientist, mgkn krn gw kakak kelas jga kali yah. Hahaha. 

Tapi ini kita bertanya kemanakah uang pemerintah itu disalurkan, terus kenapa harus ada tabungan bersama?

Saya kurang setuju dengan perkataan ini tugas pemerintah saja, tp saya juga kurang setuju bahwa rakyat kecil itu akan di rugikan klo lockdown. Yah, tentu akan bnyak yg dirugikan, mgkn anda pun kena rugi nya.

Taukah kalian bahwa pendapatan pengamen itu lebih besar dr gaji fresh graduate yg kadang cuma dpt UMR? Ini kita ga bilang yang lgsg dpt gaji bagus yah.

Masa lu ga kasian sih sama itu yang jualan di Jalan, Gimana klo mereka ga dapet duid, kan duit nya cuma dapet harian. Terus nanti mereka hidup darimana?

1. Coba liat lah Kota desinfeksi, itu guna nya apa manusia di semprot? Bahkan gw msk lab dgn BSL-2 aja ga di semprot desinfektan, di semprot sama udara ada. Krn ada ruangan kedap dan itu pun krn baju yang kita udh pake udh steril. Brp banyak tuh kotak di sebar kan di depan" gedung (ini kalo kata berita yah)

2. Orang Indo lebih percaya influencer drpd tenaga ahli beneran. Katanya sih influencer di Bayar sama pemerintah (tp ga tau juga yah) dengan mereka update aja mereka udh tp bayaran. Hahaha. Gimana klo bayaran itu di sisihkan sedikit buat beli APD.

3. Tadi sempet liat ttg gaji pejabat, dimana" pejabat klo di luar negeri memberikan gaji nya, ini di Indo Malah cari sumbangan. Blm Lagi klo itu di korupsi. Semua di monopoli sama negara juga. Mending itu penjual masker mahal di tangkep, itu izin masukin brang aja lama, di tahan lah disini di tahan lah di situ. Terus kena pajak juga. Nah, itu pajak di pake buat apa? Buat Bayar influencer sama buat beli kotak desinfeksi?

Saya bukan professor atau siapapun yang ahli di bidang itu.

Indonesia tuh latah bgt, di bilang apa di ikutin, di info in lgsg di beli dlm jumlah bnyak, klo ada di usahain. Hahaha. Mending di Indo buta media sih. Kaya msh di pedalaman gitu. Yg ga ada listrik ga ada air. Makanan dari natrral resources. Hahaha.

Misalkan nih yah, uang nya di gunakan dengan bijak. Harga masih dalam normal, trus juga perputarannya sehat. Percayalah ekonomi akan berjalan dengan baik, yang miskin (maaf nih yah) ttp bisa dpt jatah krn mgkn org" Kaya itu beli dgn hrga Murah akhirnya ada Sisanya, yg berkekurangan pun jadi nya bisa beli. 

Rupiah melemah

Setelah kasus Covid-19 ini ku bingung kenapa semua kurs naik, kemanakah nilai rupiah? Kenapa dia malah semakin kecil? Sejujurnya ku tak mengerti perhitungan ini tapi semua kurs yang gw tau semua nya naik, semuanya mahal. Hahaha.

Tapi setelah ngobrol ttg harga barang pokok, di Indonesia itu super murah, tp entah kenapa ini kok jadi mahal krn Corona tp stlh di compare pun ttp lebih murah. Hahaha. Itu kenapa bisa gitu murah ya? Saat disini di anggap receh, klo di convert ke rupiah lgsg terlihat mahal. Hahaha.

Tapi kalo di bilang spending nya gimana, sejujurnya spending Indonesia cukup besar kok. Hahaha. Tp emang klo di bilang ga semahal itu. Disini Kopi itu 28-40 yuan dimana harganya klo di Indonesia cuma setengah nya doang. Klo uang nya di convert terus ke rupiah hidup disini jd mahal banget dan ga di nikmatin sih.

Disini jalan" abis 3000 tuh kaya ya udh emang segitu, tapi klo di kurs Indo jd 6jt, kok mahal banget ya. Hahaha. Padahal sbnernya ga semahal itu.

Mungkin krn kebanyakan angka nol nya kali yaaa

extrovert during the quarantine time

45 days since the first day they quarantine me from the outside world. Hahaha. The first month seems okay, still have energy to cook and meet with people. But, after that I am too lazy to have an interaction with people and I am too lazy to cook and eat.

Yeah, the stress phase come at the end. Hahaha. While the other panic when the virus came, I am more stress now. Because, I know for sure that now the condition is really safe but I cannot do anything with that. Yeah maybe the affect of period and the toothache makes it worse 😭

Being an extrovert means they need an energy from outside. Yeah, when the energy is negative the negativity will be higher and living alone without interacting with people is a bit hard for me. 

Fortunately, I still have a lot of people who I can talk to by messenger. But, of course I only can talk with someone who I am comfortable with. Sound like an introvert, right?

I don't know but lately I really easy to be upset with little things and stress too much while I think I do a good things too. It's too hard to stay indoor and only doing a monotonous thing. I love to watched but I am even tired with that. Hahaha. What a weird feeling.

So, to all extrovert friends. 

Keep contact with your friends. 

Small talks but that means a lot during this quarantine time especially if you are staying alone. 

Manusia

Manusia. 

Sebuah ciptaan yang memiliki kemampuan yang luar biasa dan istimewa dibandingkan dengan ciptaan lainnya.

Namun, 

Karena hati dan logika

Manusia menjadi sosok yang tidak bisa ditebak maupun menjadi dirinya sendiri. 

Banyak muka yang digunakan oleh seorang manusia. Muka yang berbeda ketika bertemu dengan orang yang berbeda. 

Egois.. 

Yah, tidak ada manusia yang tidak Egois. Sebaik apapun manusia pasti akan memiliki sifat ini.

Tak ada yang 100% jahat maupun 100% baik.

Walaupun tidak bisa sempurna, jadi lah manusia yang tdk akan menyesal thd kehidupan anda apapun pilihannya

Being an independent woman

Because yesterday is a women's day, I would like to write about independent woman.

I think I can classified myself as an independent woman, I can do most of the things by myself and I really hate to show the other that I am not okay or I am 'weak'

Actually, at some point I think that's not good for mental health but being too dependent with people will be too painful because you will expect more from people. Hahaha.

I talked with my male friends, what they think about an independent woman. Most of them saying that woman need to be an independent but don't be too much independent because if the woman did that the man will felt like they are nothing. So, most of them said to be 70% dependent and 30% independent or maybe 50:50. Most of male friend who said 70:30 is more like a male who is really like to be around and spend their time together while the 50:50 one have a tendency to give the freedom. Even with 70:30 female, if the male give the freedom they will have a tendency to choose their partner instead of their friends. I know that from my friends too.

So, I will start with the advantage of being independent 

1. You don't need to ask for the permission. 

2. You can be yourself. I think most of the independent women that I know, they have a really high value in life and even you are being yourself a lot of people will respect you as you are.

3. You have your freedom to choose. And you don't need to be anyone else to please the other.

4. The other opinion is a suggestion, that's not a problem for you but you know when to improve.

But, the disadvantage of being independent are

1. Sometimes they said that you don't have heart of feeling (I heard it a lot)

2. Sometimes you think you need someone to lean on when you are having a hard time but you cannot trust anyone

3. When you are getting older, all of your friends will have their own life so you cannot force them to be with you as before

But, being an independent make you really adapt for being by yourself. Yeah, that might be a but hard for an extrovert but spending time alone is always a best part for healing and improving yourself 

Coronavirus & Indonesia

Jadi kemaren itu smpet nyari" juga apakah benar klo Indonesia emang zero case di wabah coronavirus ini? Soalnya negara tetangga aja udh banyak yang kena.

Nah, jadi karena banyak hal spekulasi dan meme yang ada di social media. Akhirnya saya mencoba mencari berita nih ttg kasus SARS dan MERS di Indonesia. Ternyata, diketahui ada warga Indonesia yang terkena penyakit tersebut, tapi emang masih di bawah 10 dan itu juga krn mereka di pusat wabah tsbt.

Nah, jadi bukannya orang Indo kebal nih sama wabah penyakit ini. Tapi kalo di lihat case nya, sepertinya karena daerah tropis, karena pas cek sama temen yang di Thailand juga hal tsbt cuma terjadi di pusat kita dan di Bangkok. Jadi saya lupa baca dimana tapi ini penyakit emang ada hubungannya sama suhu yang rendah.

Kalo misalkan di cek nih yah, coronavirus ini sebenernya ada dimana" bahkan di sakit flu biasa, bahkan kemaren sempet cek judul jurnal bahkan bisa ditemukan di case gastro juga. Hahaha. Nah, jadi sebenernya ini adalah virus yang memang ada di tubuh manusia.

Nah, kenapa sih di Indonesia bisa ga ada? Sejauh ini tidak ada yg menjelaskan secara scientific sih mengenai hal ini hanya ada di berita" yang ku juga tak yakin apakah itu benar atau tidak. Tapi, mungkin yah mungkin ini salah satunya. Imunitas orang Indonesia itu sangat tinggi dan dosis obat di Indonesia juga kalo misalkan saya bandingin sama di Cina yah, itu tinggi banget.

Nah, dgn sndirinya jadinya itu immunitasnya udh kebal dan meningkat, bahkan mgkn sudah resistance juga. Hahaha. Orang Indo tuh kalo sakit bukannya makan obat malah makin di makan sumber penyakit nya, misalkan udh tau nih batuk. Makan aja terus tuh kerupuk ato Gorengan wlpn udh tau batuk. Hahaha.

Nah, mgkn krn itu juga akhirnya orang Indo memiliki mekanisme thd penyakit lebih kuat dari pada yang lain. 

Ini hanya spekulasi yah, ga ada dasarnya juga. Kalo misalkan kenapa di pusat nya jadi ttp bisa terkena, hal ini krn klo di pusat wabah kan emang intensity nya naik nih. Nah, si bakteri ato virus itu mungkin punya si quorum sensing gitu, jadi kalo rame baru mereka bekerja. Hahaha. 

Jadi walaupun begitu, tetap lah berjaga" walaupun mungkin yah penyakit ini ga se berapa kalo di banding kan dengan TBC, malaria, demam berdarah, sakit jantung, dkknya itu. Belom lagi yang diabetes krn kebanyakan minum Manis juga. Hahaha. Tapi, akan lebih baik mencegah dari pada mengobati. 

what valentine means to me

Valentine Days - a sweet romance for couple, a dream of chocolate, flower, and love.

I always bought my own chocolate, flower, and my heart. I think I guard that too tight even hard for me to open my heart to the other. 

This year, 

I thought it will be different, 

YEAH, I am not thinking that I need to celebrate valentine and I only saw the euphoria from my Instagram. I think that just a habit in Indonesia to give chocolate to your friends during valentine that makes that chocolate is means nothing. 

What is LOVE?

Why people need love?

After the outbreak, I was thinking that I need someone for my old days, so I need to have my own family. But, as the time goes by, I think I am enjoying doing this and that and actually what I did now is not love. It is only a kind gesture to repay what someone do for me. Hahaha. 

Our Story

Awalnya gw pikir ini akan menjadi kisah romance, tapi sepertinya tidak. Hahaha. Semakin kesini gw semakin merasa yah kita terlalu berbeda dan dunia kita bagikan langit dan bumi. Hahaha. Mungkin yah cara kita berteman aja yang berbeda.

Dia dengan dunia dan teman wanitanya. 

Gw dengan dunia dan teman pria gw.

Yah kami serupa tapi tak sama

Lahir di bulan yang sama tahun yang sama hanya berbeda 2 hari. Berada di lingkungan yang sangat berbeda. Kalo di bilangggg. Kisah kami berawal dari bingkisan yang emang karena berlebihan.

Sejujurnya gw udh tau dia dari pertama kali masuk kuliah, cuma ga pernah ngomong aja. Bahkan ketemu pun ga pernah nyapa. Hahaha. Begitu lah hidup kami. Akhirnya beli kamera sama dia, itu juga super awkward sih.. Soalnya emang gw cuma mau ganti aja sama yg lebih bagusan aja gituuuu. Terus abis itu lebih deket karena satu temen yang emang hobi fotografi juga. Dan harusnya itu jadi tahun terakhir dia krn akan lulus kannn. Ya udah lah karena berpikir ga akan bertemu selamanya lagi akhirnya ya udh lah ya kan ksih ya brengan kan yaa, dan akhirnya gw buat lah tuh buku, jujur itu biasa aja. Gw sgt sering buat kaya gitu buat orang.

Entah dia itu berlebih ato gimanaaaa tp dia sangat terharuuu. Hahaha. Akhirnya dia bilang lah klo dia lanjut lagi master disini. Nah, gw udh mikir ohh mungkin gw suka kali yah sama dia. Jadi, akhirnya gw memikirkan ya udh nanti dia ultah gw tlp lah yaaa. Hahaha. 

Bermula dari situ mungkin akhirnya gw baper, tp emang pria malam bar dan teman wanitanyaaa. Ku sptnya tidak sanggup, awalnya sempet jealous sih sama nih satu cewe, trus kayaknya nih cewe juga suka sama dia. Kan namanya juga gw ga enakan dan basa basi busuk kan yaaa. Akhirnya gw berteman lah sama dia krn dia tiba" nge follow gw di Instagram dluan krn gw kepo apakah mereka bersama. Hahahaha.

Singkat cerita, akhirnya sudah lah itu cerita. Sempet kaya gimana sih, apalagi setelah itu kaya tiba" ketemu tuh kaya super awkward gituuuu. Tapi setelah itu normal lagi sihh. Tapi yah mgkn stlh itu juga gw jdinya kaya oh ya udh lah. Gw juga ga se tertarik itu sama dia, apalagi dia ga banget gituuuu kan... Yah pokoknya bukan another half lah kaya terlalu sama tp kami di dunia yang berbeda. Hahaha.

Singkat cerita, tuh cewe balik lah ke negaranya. Awalnya udh mau blg ya udh lah ya. Tp nih cewe nulis surat ke gw, makin ga enak kan yah. Ya udh gw anter lah dia sampe taksi, eh tuhh cowo jga bersama dengan diaaa. Hahaha. Oh iya, sehari sblmnya juga dia makan bersama. Ngajakin sih tp awkward bgt ga sihh. Dan smpe skrg gw ga tau hubungan mereka apa tp sptnya mutualisme kokk. Hahaha. Yg satu butuh yg satu ngasih yg di butuhin. Hahaha.

Okay, berlalu lah ituu dan gw pergi ke Lijiang buat jalan" kan yah liburan gituuuu. Terus wabah ini menyerangggg. Yah si coronavirus. Terus emang krn kita selalu masak berlebih dan rame juga kan. Jd klo bahannya dr gw emang gw sisa in buat dia sedikit. Tp klo bahan gw doang yaaa.

Nah. 

Ternyata entah kenapa dia jadi baik gitu ksih makanan sama gw krn emang wktu itu gw mau plg ke Indo juga kannn. Tp yah emang yah ini mgkn salah gw juga kali yah baik sama orang. Tp beneran ga ada maksud. Tp jadi lah gw ga enak kan karena dia men supply makanan gw selama gw sblm plg, setelah pesawat gw di cancel dan setelah itu. Mgkn klo ga di masakin mungkin gw akan di kamar aja krn badan gw super drop abis dr Bandara itu. Hahahaha. Tp yah itu kok gw malah merasa biasa aja yaaa. Abis itu setiap hari kita jd chat wlpn yah kdang cuma blg gw anterin makanan yah. Dan ini Cara gw supaya klo masak cuma 2 hari sekali. Hahahah. Ga ada lagi motivasi yang lain. Dan lagian klo gw masak buat sndiri juga kdang sayang gtu. Yg di cuci bnyak tp cuma buat sndiri. Hahaha.

Kalo yang denger sih ini super sweet banget, kapan lagi di masakin sama orang yg super cuek begitu yg sama idup nya aja mungkin ga peduli. Hahaha. Tp yah emang dia begitu kayaknya sama semua cewe ya udh lah yaaa. Hahaha. Mgkn itu krn tanda dia ga enak Hati aja gw baik sama dia. 

Tapi apakah ini jodoh?

Tapi ini bener" bagaikan langit dan bumi, hitam dan putih, pokoknya dunia kita beneran berbeda nya 180 derajat lah.

Dulu gw mikir mgkn gw suka sama dia krn gw bsa mikir di masa depan klo gw sama dia gimana, tp sekarang kaya ga ada pikirkan kaya begitu lagi, bahkan klo coba mikir yang ada penolakan di otak ini.

Ini adalah cerita kami yang complicated. 

Ku tak takut Virus Corona, yang ku takut itu Biomedical Engineering nya CQU

Setelah aku berpikir panjang,

Ini masih kembali ke cerita Corona virus. Kali ini aku menulis dengan Bahasa Indonesia. Hahaha

Setelah melewati fase ini ternyata yang ku takuti bukan virusnya tapi Biomedical Engineering di CQU. Kenapa? Setelah gw bertapa 3 hari di kamar nih ya, yang gw takut itu check control dr college dan selain itu ketika di ingat" lagi penyakit atau gejala hidup 3 tahun di biomedical itu mirip sama Virus Corona ini

1. Demam

Ini bisa di sebabkan oleh lab berlebih, makan tidak teratur, dan stress berlebih dari professor

2. Batuk & Pilek

Bahkan katanya wajar untuk punya penyakit ini selama 2-3 bulan.

3. Gastro

Kembali ke alasan no pertama

4. Sesak napas

Bisa terjadi krn gastro maupun tagisan berlebih atau sakit nya hati yang tak dapat di keluarkan

Demikian post ini saya sampaikan

OVERCOME : The little thing that will make a change

This is the old post that I always keep on my draft. I will give the original post and maybe give some additional sentences to this post. 

This time, I would like to share about how I overcome my fear, the most unpleasant things on my life is FAILURE. I really hate losing and if someone underestimate me. That kind of people really irritated me that much. But, I think that I really hit the bottom this time, during my 23 years of my life these day is the most unplanned event on my life, I always got everything that I want, and now I couldn't have something that around my expectation. I became really down because of that things, I really envy with someone who got their dream jobs. I really don't know why I couldn't make that, what I really need to gain. Despite of I am being down with everything that I got, I stayed on that plan until now. At least I tried my best to stayed to commit with my words before. I really afraid that I will stayed like that and I don't have a really great FUTURE that I dream of before. But, God let me felt that to overcome myself to be more consider about the little things. I never grateful about a simple things before but God makes me felt like everything must be count on my life. I overcome that with my will to became someone who want to improve myself more. When I really full of myself I never find and acknowledge someone strength (sometime). I was drive my path with my own will power without think about the other, but on now I know that we couldn't live by ourselves. 

I really envy with the other who can reached more than me and they got something that I really want. I tried to compare myself with them and I think that I was better. Instead comparing myself to the other I tried to think that the other is better then me and I need to reach their standard to become someone better then what am I now. I need to acknowledge that everyone has their own speciality that make themselves shine more than the other. 

To overcome that FEAR you need to have a heart to accept everything that would be happen in your life, sometimes that might be hard and you need to decide what you need to do next, you never know about the result but keep going. That what I learnt from what I felt know. Try to knowing yourself more than before and give your private time to yourself to accept who you really are. 

You will felt better than before with that attitude, you'll be more grateful with everything that you have now and you'll think more positive than before.

Sometime everything not going well with your expectation, but keep going, the other doors will be open soon after you develop yourself more, when you just stayed as you are now you'll stuck on the GROUND forever

That's what I wrote as 23 years old of me when struggling to have my job and it was really tiring and stressful.

But, I have a good job after that. I Left that job and I am here today as the last year master student of Biomedical Engineering.

After I looked back and see this post too I realized that this phase will always go to the circles. So, the change of your way of thinking and your heart might be the simplest things you can do now. Hahaha.

Living to the fullest, that what I said to my younger self but in everything we decide in our lives you always need to sacrifice the other things.

Decide your own and you can understand more about yourself and change a bit that make you feel bad about yourself 

Wuhan Corona Virus: Am I need to stay of leave?

Updating about my previous post, my flight was canceled. And I am decided to stay here in China.

So, in this post I will give you the reason why you need to stay and why you need to leave!

I hate when people said that going back home is a selfish and we don't love China. Everyone have their own perspective and I think we need to respect their choice. 

If you are still think about leaving or not, maybe you can check the list below:

1. Do you feel panic and anxiety during this period? If the answer is yes, I suggest you to go. As soon as possible. We don't know what will happen tomorrow and when there is no access anymore that will be harder for you to be in a good condition because your thoughts are toxic now

2. How's you body? The only one who know your body is you, if you are not care with your health, don't want to eat healthy food or consume vitamin. And you know that your body cannot bear that. Leave now! Because this disease might be easier to catch by a person with weak immune system.

3. Do you think you will be able to face this problem if the situation is getting worse? It will be stimulate your brain for a worse case one. If you cannot get through that thoughts that will be hard if that happen for real.

So, please consider yourself before the others. You are the only one who know the best for you. It is not selfish and that's normal. 

For me, 

I told my mom if suddenly I cannot go back next week just pray for me. That's the only thing I told my mom. She insisted to find the ticket back but I said I am OK. And after I am checking myself. It is not bad. I know the situation is really chaos now. I know if there will be a missunderstanding. 

Don't let your emotion come first, 

During this period stay calm and use your brain not your heart. 

It is good to follow your heart, but don't let your emotions make you felt bad about this situation now. 

Outbreak Disease: Wuhan Corona Virus

When I looked back to my Facebook I saw that the Zika Virus outbreak also happened during this time. But, that time I only heard and read from the paper.

This time, I am here in China.

Only like 300 km away from Wuhan the first place of the outbreak. is it that bad?

Of course, till now almost 20,000 cases in whole China. Like 300 something in my city alone.

But, if we compared with the number of Chinese citizens, 20k is nothing anyway. So, don't panic!

First, 

this disease can be heal by themselves with the note that the people have a good immune system and they know how to treat themselves especially medical personnel

Second, 

If you do what you should do and obey with all of the rules. I never felt this healthy within my 2.5 years stay here. I took vitamin, I ate a lot of healthy food, and I think I have a really good sleeping pattern lately.

Third,

Don't panic! Most of people is really scare with that disease. Sometimes they over react and actually because of the control every day and every time we go out, they are afraid that might be they are not healthy enough because they will take the suspected one to the hospital directly. I think this problem also like a kind of battle of physiological things.

Forth, 

Please respect anyone who decide to stay and the one who decide to leave. We have our own arguments and reasons for that. For me, firstly I don't want to go back. Yeah I am not really care and I can stay in my room for whole day anyway. But, my family said to me that it will be better for me to go back and actually, I also need to renew my passport and the embassy also suggested to do that in Indonesia. And I never meet with my dad after my dad suddenly had a heart disease. After I am thinking about that reason, maybe going back home for a while will be a better choice.

I also don't want to spread the virus. That's why I am trying to do my best to protect myself. Going back to our home country doesn't mean that we don't care about China or we will infected people there if we are going back to our country. You say that we are selfish? What a weird way of thinking. Please respect the other too.

Let me share a case, 

One of my friend is really worry. 

I think by staying in China will make his condition worse, why we need to keep him in China. He might be not sick because of the virus, but he might be sick because of his thoughts. Do you think that will be good for him to stay? In my PERSPECTIVE, I say No. Not only one people felt like that a lot of people might be felt like that too. Even I still can joke about the disease while they cannot do that anymore.

Is it safe to go back from China?

Of course, it's a 50:50.

But, I believe that if you protect yourself and take care of yourself during your stayed in China. You will be okay! 

Writer (?)

Previously, I had tried to applied as the writer for one of famous magazine in Indonesia. They only said to me like this.

Writing as hobby and as the job is different. After that I was thinking maybe writer is not my way. Hahaha. 

But after time passed by, I know that I love writing and I love to share my thoughts through writing.

I am starting to reading more book recently and due to all of things happen to me I think I become wiser and more mature. Hahaha. 

After I saw some of my posts from the past, I think it was about me and me. But, that the process and the way of learning. Hahaha. 

And I think that everyone have their own meaning for a lot of things. I am not trying to make them to agree with my opinion because that's mine. 

I think I will try to post some of my thoughts when I am bored with this activity and I will write my real thoughts about living and studying in China. Yeah, this time will be the full story and it will be my last year so it will be more accurate because I did all of that in the past. Sometimes I also not remember clearly but I know that my life in China is beautiful indeed! 

Don't judge someone by their past

This time, I would like to share my thoughts about the perspective of people around me. Past is in the past and even yesterday was a past. This year I am trying to not judging someone by their past even what they did recently. 

It's hard because my head keep noticing the difference between me and them but I need to keep myself in a positive action. It is not only a positive mind set because most of the mindset were fake and that's only the way to fake the situation.

Why I said don't judge someone by their past? Because the past that we saw maybe not the REAL one. I know it sounds like I am trying to accept anyone around me. But, it is not! By trying to not judging someone I learn to separate the people in my life. I am starting to make a border yeah a thin line with someone who I think I don't need to interact with. It is not arrogant, but that the way to not judge someone. When you know more about someone, that will be easier for you to judge that people.

I hope you have a great week. Let's spread the positivity! 

Haruskah ku pulang?

Ini adalah post pertama di tahun 2020. Yah, waktu kepulanganku semakin dekat, ada rasa berat di hati untuk pulang karena belum rela untuk menghadapi kenyataan namun disisi lain hati ini sudah menangis ingin pulang.

Banyak pandangan yang terbentuk setelah tinggal di Cina selama 3 tahun, ada image yang baik dan ada image yang buruk. Tapi akhirnya gw belajar bahwa setiap orang itu punya preferensi dan bahkan caranya dalam menghadapi hidup.

Tentu pulang ke Indo pasti ada lebih nya, tapi ketika melihat keadaan kok jadi pesimis yah. Sebenernya aku yakin ga semenakutkan itu tapi aku lelah dengan hidup penuh kompetisi ini dan bahkan ku yang sangat kompetitif ini pun lelah untuk bersaing.

Ketika ku pikirkan masa" disini.

Berat, yah berat. Bahkan kadang ku menangis dalam kesunyian. Semua harus di tanggung sendiri. Ga ada orang yang bisa di percaya, hidup juga sebenernya lebih enak sih. Banyak hal yang bisa di syukuri dan banyak orang yang bahkan membuat gw nyaman tinggal disini. Tapi, cukup ku harus mengakhiri segala cerita ini untuk memulai cerita yang baru. Apakah akan berbeda? Tentu tidak, bos, atasan, temen kerja semua akan pada posisi yang sama siklus yang sama juga. Yang berbeda cuma cara kita melihat masalah itu.

Cape lagi

Ngeluh lagi

Mau nyerah lagi

Pasti itu mah pasti

Tapi itulah hidup, ga selalu di atas ga selalu di bawah. Positive nya kita jadi lebih bisa bersyukur negative nya yah itu kita jadi hanya memikirkan diri sendiri. 

Kalo misalkan ditanya sekarang

I choose money over passion 

Why? Buat gw passion itu akhirnya cuma iming" dan akhirnya alesan kita buat klo ga suka bilang aja ga passion. Sebenernya passion kita apa aja belom tentu kita tau. Apa klo kalian suka sesuatu itu passion? Berapa lama kalian akan suka sama hal itu?

Ketika pulang ke Indonesia realita teman" udh di posisi yang lebih baik, jadi pengangguran lagi, omongan tetangga yang ga abis". Pasti setidaknya membuat gw Merasa sedikit minder dengan keadaan. Sampe sekarang gw masih nyesel kok ninggalin kerjaan. Boong klo gw blg gw rela semua usaha itu orang yg nikmatin, tapi kalo gw masih disana mungkin gw ga akan jadi gw yang sekarang.

Pulang

Itu yang selalu terlintas di pikirkan gw. Disaat dulu kepengen pulang dan sekarang mau menghindar pulang, tapi disini pun ga mau. Hahaha. Kaya pepatah hidup segan mati tak mau.

Semoga di akhir cerita menjadi anak master degree ini akan ada jawaban yang lebih baik dan lebih bisa menikmati hidup dan mengurangi hal" negative 😁

SOUND INSIDE MY HEAD

Around this time last year, it was a life changing stage of my life. Yeah, a big shift of my daily life and my comfort zone. Hahaha.

Even moving to China is already beyond my imagination because life as a Chinese descendent already hard and I need to live as a Chinese here. Hahaha.

Actually, I thought that I am good and I am okay. I am not stress anymore and everything I did seems okay to me. But, when the time COMES, I could not passed this stage. Yeah, it is been hard. I only want to be alone and my thoughts are saying that no one care about you. Hahaha.

But, I believe that I will always have someone who will be there for me. Hahaha. And I know they will be there. Hahaha.

After think about that, I think mental disease is more complicated and it is harder to distinguish between healthy and not healthy. Actually, the world is getting worse not because of the war but because of what people say about the others. When people opinion can change the other personality and it is like the world force us to do that.

I scared if I know there were a demonstration or a disaster but I know there will be a way to survive and it can be prevented. But, the comment or people opinion cannot be controlled and we could not prevent them from being able to hurt us. Hahaha.

It is sad but it is true. I even more scared to face the disappointment and complain than the real disaster. Hahaha. Life is hard not only because we couldn't do that but because the environment and the community around us make us more insecure with the future.

Don't blame yourself. That might be sound selfish but it is better than not taking care of yourself